A Star was Born

Stella Star

30 years ago – Grandma (Stella Star) 72 – Jodi 22

A Star was born
on a warm summer’s eve
destiny’s daughter
Stella Louise.

A Star was born
in a coal mining town
a new life, a new country
her parents danced round.

A Star was born
It was 1913
Her parents worked hard
but life was still lean.

A Star was born
when Stella turned nine
with three little brothers
and Dad in the mine.

A Star was born
when her mom passed away
and Dad shared the news
she must now the role play.

A Star was born
to cook and clean and no longer play
for Dad had work and brothers school
Stella took over the chores each day.

A Star was born
that raised brothers so dear
they all grew in love
and days turned to years.

A Star was born
that married my Pap
She laughed and sang and chattered
while I sat on his lap.

A Star was born
that taught me about life
the meaning of love
what’s wrong and what’s right.

A Star was born
that died too soon
but is always with me
like a warm cocoon.

A Star was born
as my memories reveal
the best, greatest gifts of love
for me she made real.

A Star was born
on that warm summer’s eve
My Grandma, my hero
Her memory my reprieve.

Grandma & Grandpap, Johnny & Jodi - 1968

Grandma & Grandpap, Johnny & Jodi – 1968

This poem is dedicated to my Grandma, my hero – Stella Star, and done in response to the WordPress DailyPost Writing 201 Poetry Challenge:

Prompt:  Hero(ine)
Form:  Ballad
Device:  Anaphora/Epistrophe

Grandma died 20 years ago at the age of 82.  I was 32.  I still miss her every day, but I try to live each day carrying out her legacy and making her proud of the person she helped mold me into.  She will always be my guiding star.

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi

The Little Log Cabin

little log cabin

Oh Little Log Cabin on the edge of the woods, what is your story?

What tales would you tell if you could

of life now and life then?

Are we doing it right?

You stand so solid and sturdy and beautiful.

You remind me to slow down, breathe deeply, gaze intently.

You do speak…

to my soul.

 

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi

Our Children

winter front yard bush 020115

My copy of “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran arrived a few days ago.

And what a treasure it is.

It is a book to be savored in small bits and pieces,

with words to be read over and over.

Several people told me about the section on Children, so it was the first place I went…

On Children by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

I love this.
I hope to think I have raised my boys this way…
respecting that they have their own thoughts…
not forcing mine on them.

It was the greatest privilege of my life to house their bodies,
but I will never own their souls.

I’m so proud of the men they have become.
Sometimes we have different opinions, sometimes we disagree, but I have, do, and will always respect them immensely…
and love them all the same.

This was not necessarily the way I was raised, but that only makes me feel all the more convicted about it.
I am honored to bend my bow with gladness, and shoot two blazing, sharp, strong arrows into the world.

May all of our children be as unique and individual as they desire, like each snowflake that falls and blows in the wind and catches on thistly bushes.  And may we love them all and cherish their beauty.

With much love and pride to my Jake and Nick,
Your Mom

Untold Story

empty words

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

Maya Angelou

 

Winter Months of Life

winter bird serenity monochrome

In the winter months of life,
there comes a balance between hanging on and letting go.
Should we stay or should we go?
Do we get to choose?
What do we have to lose?

 My Marty’s 92-year old Aunt lost the second love of her life this week.  Her near 93-year old fiance.

Rest in Peace dear Tilford.  Thanks for loving Aunt Francie.  Thanks for bringing her such joy in the winter years of her life.   You will be missed.  You were a good man.

Christmas 2007

Hugs,
Jodi

Love Life

love life bird yellow

So it’s Friday night – though you are reading this sometime after 6:00 am EST on Saturday.  (If you haven’t caught on yet, I schedule my daily posts for 6 am EST, but I typically write them the evening before.)  😉

And for this particularly exciting Friday evening (as I am fighting off a head cold that is trying to get the best of me and a little bit of a sore back – did something at the dang gym – grr!), Marty and I ate Chinese take out (I indulged in my favorite 8-treasure rice from Jimmy Wann’s and a nice glass of Red Zin – my first all week!) in front of a warm fire… and I got to pick the movie.

I rarely even care what is on television, but I love to pick a movie on Friday evening for some reason.  ( I know – really exciting stuff – eh?!)

So, as I write this, I am not only sniffling from the nasal drip of this cold, but from literally bawling my eyes out.

We watched “The Fault in our Stars.”

I know – a little late to the game on this one – eh?  But – wow – what a beautiful story…

Ok – maybe a little mushy, a little cliche, a little predictable.

But also so life affirming, thought provoking, and a reminder of how precious life is.

A story that shows us how we need to discover that a good life does not mean we have to be famous or accomplished or published or world-renown ….

One of my favorite lines is when 16 year old cancer patient, Hazel tells her boyfriend Gus, an 18-year old young man who is dying and disappointed that he didn’t do something greater with his life:

“You say you’re not special because the world doesn’t know about you, but that’s an insult to me. I know about you.”

My BFF, Jill, and I have often said to each other throughout the years, “What’s it all about?”

I think it’s about loving…

Loving life – and the people that are in our life…

And isn’t that enough?

So what a coincidence that I had made this (yet another – been on a crafty kick this week) card with this crazy little bird that I can’t even tell you what colors I used, because I kept combining and mixing and blending a million colors until I liked it, from the SU stamp set called – of all things –  “Love Life.”

So Discover how to love life.

It is worth it.  Every cherished moment.

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi

And P.S.  I’ll be baking tomorrow… look for a new recipe I’m trying for Orange Slice Cookies.

Day Dreamin’ & the Dog Days of Winter

ice and leaf

Day dreamin’
While the rain is freezin’

With a look in his eyes
That longs for blue skies.

Mikey and the ice

Mikey McKinney – 7 years old

 

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi

The Old Porch Swing

snowy swing black and white

Oh the stories this old porch swing could tell…

Of afternoon story time with mama and sons,

and little boy shenanigans, plots, and plans.

Afternoon breaks for dad and mom,

important decisions discussed and planned.

Moonlight kisses,

and engagement photos.

Tears shed while swinging,

both happy and sad.

Deep conversations,

and happy reunions.

You have carried us through,

and will continue to do.

Snow Birds

winter snow bird taking off

Snow birds stay
and weather the storms,
frolicking and fluttering about.

I will nourish your soft and feathery frames,
while you nurture my heart and soul.

winter snow bird

Grandma’s Old-Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread

One of my favorite things to bake (and eat) for the holidays is my Grandma’s Old-Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread Cover

For me, it is like spending a little time with Grandma – even though she’s been gone for 20 years now.  The smells that fill the house… using her recipe card – complete with stains from baking episodes past… using her old tin measuring cup, snipping apricots, chopping nuts…  To me, the holidays aren’t truly here until I make Grandma’s Apricot Nut Bread and spend a little time with her through this ritual.

When I was young, I spent Christmas vacations (and every other moment I could) with Grandma.  We spent a lot of our time together in the kitchen.  While we were cooking or baking, Grandma would tell me stories about her childhood.  It was sadly a pretty short one, because she had to become Mama to her baby brothers at only 9 years old when her mom died at a devastatingly early age.  We would talk about her early married life with outhouses, coal furnaces, and washboards.  And some of my favorite stories, especially when I was young, were the ones she would tell about me when I was a baby and how she danced in the hospital hallway with the doctor after I was born and how she fed me her homemade chicken soup on my first day home.

We laughed while we worked, and I never felt so loved.

One of the things Grandma made every year was Apricot Nut Bread.  Growing up, it really wasn’t my favorite.  I much preferred the lady locks or nut horns or nut roll – even the chocolate chip cookies.  This bread is not overly sweet.  It is not overly moist.  But as an adult, it has become my absolute favorite.  A slice with a swirl of creamy salted butter or a schmear of rich cream cheese and a cup of coffee might just be my favorite way to start the day.

This weekend, I made my annual batch of Grandma’s Old-Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread.

I started with some dried apricots, which I snipped with scissors into large chunks.  (I cut most of the apricots into fourths.)  Sharp kitchen shears work much better than a knife given the stickiness of the apricots while cutting.  And – it’s how Grandma did it…

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 1After the apricots are coarsely snipped, they are placed in a bowl of hot water to further plump and soften.  Equal parts of apricots and water are used.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 2The dry ingredients are mixed together next in a separate bowl:  flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 3In a third bowl, eggs are beaten, and sugar is added.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 4Next is time to coarsely chop some walnuts – 1 cup per batch (unless you are my son, Nick – then no nuts are added!)

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 5To combine everything, alternately add the apricots with water and egg/sugar mixture to the dry ingredient bowl.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 6At this point, you could place the batter in your greased and floured bread pans if you are not adding nuts.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 7Or gently fold in the nuts.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 8It is important to thoroughly grease and flour your bread pans.  I use a paper towel to generously smear Crisco into every corner and crevice of the pan and then dust thoroughly with four.  If done well, the bread will roll right out when you tip the pans once out of the oven.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 9You can use a number of small bread pans or one large bread pan for a single recipe.  I tripled the recipe this weekend and made eight smaller loaves.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 10I fill them about 3/4 full to get a nicely risen loaf.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 11Baking time varies depending on the size of the loaf, so watch carefully and check with a toothpick.  If you insert a toothpick in the center and it comes out clean, the bread is done.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread 12I immediately pop them out out of the pans and cool completely on a wire rack.  These loaves freeze beautifully if wrapped in saran wrap and foil or in freezer Ziploc bags.

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread LastSlice and serve warm or cold and with or without butter or cream cheese.  In my opinion, this is best served as breakfast or brunch fare with a steaming cup of coffee (with Italian Sweet Cream of course!).  Sometimes we even toast a slice of it, and then the edges are crisp and the center is warm and gooey and the butter just melts into it.

Here is Grandma’s well-loved and stained recipe card:

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread Recipe Card 1jpgI remember typing these on index cards for Grandma as a young girl.  I wish I had more of her handwritten copies, but they are long gone…

Grandmas Old Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread Recipe Card 2

Some beloved people and possessions in our lives may no longer be around, but memories can never be erased or replaced.

May cherished memories of your loved ones and holidays past fill you with warmth and happiness.

Here is the recipe for you to try:

Grandma’s Old-Fashioned Apricot Nut Bread

Mix together 1 cup chopped apricots and 1 cup boiling water.  Let stand until the rest of the ingredients are ready.

In another bowl, beat two eggs and gradually add 1 cup of sugar.

In a third large bowl, stir together:

2-3/4 c. flour
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda

Add the first two mixtures to the dry ingredients – alternating as you incorporate.  Fold in chopped nuts.

Bake one large loaf at 375 degrees F for approximately 50 minutes, then 350 degrees F for 25 additional minutes.

For smaller loaves, bake at 350 degrees for 40-50 minutes.

I hope you enjoy.

Cheers & Nostalgic Hugs,

Jodi