In honor of this special day, I wanted to share a watercolor painting I created.
It started with a relaxing Sunday afternoon painting session where I just sat on the porch outside and painted from the heart to one of my favorite songs.
I had no idea what it was going to turn out to be, and I truly had no intention for what I was painting except to “feel” the music.
Sometimes I do these types of paintings and then “sit” on them for a while. I just let them “hang out,” and I glance at them every once in a while until something pulls me in and speaks to me.
And it did. It reminded me of the wound that was healed by the light that entered it.
Happy Father’s Day to all the amazing dads! Here is a photo taken a couple years ago of me between two of my faves: my Dad and Hubby.
And in honor of Father’s Day, I want to share a blog post I originally wrote and posted five years ago. Today also happens to be my Dad’s birthday, so it is a very special day indeed!
July 17, 2014
Today is a very special Anniversary… A day that brings back floods of memories… floods of emotions…. reflections on time missed… but celebration of time and love shared… from here on…
You see – Today is a Father-Daughter Anniversary. Today is the 4 year anniversary of my reunion with my Dad (my “birth father”).
And I thought it deserved a special anniversary card to send to Dad to help us cherish the day.
So you might think that sounds a bit odd…. Father and Daughter Anniversary???
Well – I’m going to share a kinda big chunk and pretty personal part of my heart today. So – if you’re not into that or not interested, you may just want to skip this blog.
So here goes…
On July 17, 2010, I was reunited with my Dad (my “birth father” Dad so as not to be confused with another great man in my life that I also call Dad – I know – a bit confusing – and on top of that both of their names are John!).
It was a day neither of us will ever forget.
The reason(s) for our separation for 39 years is really not the point or purpose of this story, nor do I feel appropriate to share, but the joy in our reunion is the focus here…. And oh what JOY we have shared.
For our second Christmas together again in 2012, I presented Dad with a book I wrote for him.
I called it, “The Journey Back to Daddy’s Girl.” The book is a celebration of our initial exchange of emails leading up to our reunion that covers the course of only a few short weeks, but close to 70 pages of exchanges. It chronicles how we discovered each other again – an adult daughter close to 50 years old – and an even more adult father – close to 70 years old who last saw each other when the little girl was 9 years old and the Daddy was just barely past 30.
We (well mostly I) asked each other questions (sometimes difficult ones) and our exchanges evolved from closings with “John (BF)” to “Love you, Dad”s.
Let me share the “Introduction” with you here.
———-
“Once upon a time, there was a little girl. Jodi had a Mom and a Dad and a little brother.
Life was good, until one day when Daddy left. Then Jodi just got to visit with Daddy on the weekends, until a day came when Mom introduced Jodi and her brother to a new Dad, and told her she would not be seeing her other Daddy any more.
Jodi lived a good life. Her new Dad and Mom took good care of her and her brother and her new baby sister, but Jodi always felt something was missing.
She thought of her first Dad throughout her life.
She dreamed of bumping into him on the street… their eyes would lock, and they would immediately recognize each other. Dad would tell her he loved her and missed her and was so proud of the woman she had become…..
Sometimes dreams do come true…”
———-
Marty (for those new here – the hubster), was instrumental in helping me find my Dad.
It is so much more incredibly easier than imaginable with the internet and people search software these days.
Marty has known for years – probably before I even realized – that there was a part of me missing – that there were unanswered questions – that there was a dad out there that I needed – and who needed me. He has asked me over the years about it – ever since we started dating when I was a mere 16 year old high school girl and he was a “mature” 20-year old “man.” (That story is a whole blog post for another day). When Marty realized my yearning had grown so strong, and my need was so great, he was the one that took the step to reach out for me, and the resulting reply is etched in my mind and on my heart forever:
“Hi Jodi – Yes. I am your “Birth Father.” It was an answer to prayer hearing from you. I hope that you and John are both fine. To this day, I regret the worst decision I have ever made. I was talked into doing something, but I had my own mind. At the time, I thought I was doing the best thing for your two. Can you ever forgive me?”
And so began my Journey back to Daddy’s Girl.
And now we celebrate four wonderful years of being a reunited father and daughter, which began on July 17, 2010 when my Dad showed up to my house with a huge bouquet of flowers, a face that looked exactly like mine (and resembles Tom Jones I think only to me 🙂 ), immediately telling me he loved me, and he missed me, that I was beautiful (only to him I’m sure 🙂 ),and he was so proud of me. You see – he wanted to fulfill my dream… He wanted our reunion to be the wonderful event I had dreamed about over the years…
We both cried – happy and sad tears. And we have talked almost every day since then. We’ve spent birthdays and holidays and Father’s days together. He was with me at our son Jake’s wedding. He loves my family as his own. His family has embraced me as their own. They have always known about me, and they welcomed me with open arms.
I will never forget the first time I met my Dad’s wife, Carole (aka Mom 2). The first thing she said to me was, “Your Dad always promised me a daughter, and now I have one. We’ve been praying for you for a long time.”
The epilogue of my book closes with:
———-
And so it began …….
With a simple email …
A journey back to Daddy’s girl.
And now, two and a half years later …
… we write each other almost every day
… and talk every weekday morning at 7:05
We’ve spent Father’s days together and holidays and birthdays and are part of each other’s lives again.
Our families love each other and we love each other.
‘What a Difference You’ve Made in My Life’
Dreams do come true!
this is notTHE END.”
———-
Father & Daughter Reunion Day – July 17, 2010
I hope this message will encourage those adult children who were separated from birth parents – at whatever age (birth, childhood, teenager, young adult) – for whatever reason – to reach out and try if it is something that has yanked on and ached in your heart for years.
Maybe your ending will not turn out as good as mine did (and of course there is much more to our story than I’ve shared here so far) , but can anything hurt more than the emptiness and not-knowing that you feel every day? Could the potential rejection be any worse than what you have imagined or decided or dealt with for years in your heart?
Love is worth the risk. It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Closure or resolution or answers to decades of unanswered questions can let you sleep at night… can bring you peace… can make you right with yourself! I’m certainly not an educated or trained professional in this area, but I can only speak of my own personal experience.
I wish you joy. I wish you peace. I wish you resolution. I wish you wholeness of heart – no matter the ending. YOU are worth it. YOU are here for a reason. YOU are loved.
Happy 4 year “Anniversary” Dad! I love you, and I cherish you! (And I’ve been listening to “our song” again this week. I’m betting you will too.) ❤ “What a Difference You’ve Made in My Life!”
Father and Daughter and Red Balloon Watercolor 11×14
Happy Father’s Day.
Happy Father’s Day to my Dad.
So glad we have the opportunity to make up for lost time.
Happy Father’s Day to my Hubby.
Sharing parenthood with you has been one of my life’s greatest joys.
Happy Father’s Day to my Son.
Watching you be a dad melts my heart.
Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi
I painted this watercolor to create a card for my Dad for Father’s Day. I wanted to create a feeling with art that represents a bond that can’t be broken. The bond between a father and daughter. A representation of the feeling of being Daddy’s little girl – no matter age or time. Love you Dad. xoxox
Today’s Assignment for #Writing101: Write a post inspired by a real-world conversation. For a twist, include foreshadowing.
Something made me stay a little longer that day. I wasn’t in my usual hurried, harried mode on my weekly visit to the nursing home. This visit was surprisingly more enjoyable than the “chore” it sometimes had sadly become of late.
Time seemed to fly as Pap (my father-in-law) and I talked and laughed and reminisced. Marty even called to see where I was since I was “taking so long.” But Pap was so excited to share what a wonderful day he had and tell me about his very special visitor. Nancy, his “favorite” niece from Illinois, had surprised him that day with a visit. They went for a walk – him in his scooter with the orange safety flag, wearing his favorite chicken hat Colleen had bought him with his beautiful niece by his side. He proudly introduced her to every person he knew that worked, visited or lived within scooter driving distance of his room, and he begged to have a picture taken to commemorate the day. He could barely contain his joy and excitement telling me about the fun they had, the laughs they shared, and the joy she had brought to his day.
“It was the best day,” he said.
Pap had been sick for quite a while. He had more than his fair share of “close encounters” throughout the 33 years I had known him (and even before that). Yet somehow he managed to outlive his beloved wife of 52 years, and even more heartbreaking, his only daughter.
Lately, Pap was in and out of the hospital more times than we could count. Moves between assisted living and skilled nursing were becoming the norm. Pap was getting tired. He said he was ready to go. But when breathing got labored due to his CHF and other problems arose from his minimally functioning kidney, he panicked. He just wanted to “stick around” a few months longer for the upcoming wedding of his grandson, Jake and his favorite girl, Colleen.
It was time to have “the talk.”
In life, there are a few very important “talks.” There’s the “birds and the bees,” continuing education decisions, marriage, children, buying a home.
Then there’s the BIGGIE: Death.
The “How do you want to spend your end-of-life journey?” talk.
Now I’m in the hospice business, so I am extremely comfortable talking about these important decisions and discussions. Until it’s MY family…
I struggled. Marty anguished. We called in expert assistance.
We thought we were getting through, then Pap would talk about dialysis and kidney transplants.
We were obviously not being very effective.
And Pap kept bouncing around from hospital to skilled nursing to assisted and round and round.
This particular day I visited, he was in skilled nursing after a recent episode in the hospital. I left feeling good. Pap must have said it a handful of times: “It was the best day.”
Fast forward four short hours. The phone rang. Pap had experienced a “turn,” and he wanted to go to the hospital. He was struggling to breathe.
Marty asked the nursing staff to please not send him. “Please keep him there. Keep him comfortable. Let him know we will be there in 15 minutes.”
When we arrived, Pap’s favorite aide was on one side of his bed, holding his hand, stroking his cheek. Another aide stood empathetically behind her. Still. Silent.
Our eyes met, and theirs began to glisten.
“He’s comfortable.” “He’s relaxed now.”
They left us to have some private time with Pap.
Marty rubbed his once larger than life, but now frail and thin Father’s arm. He garnered all the poise and grace and dignity a 53-year old, 6 foot, 3 inch tall working man’s man could muster, and whispered, “I love you, Dad.”
“You have been a wonderful father, a devoted husband, a loving grandfather,” he said.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s okay to let go.”
“Mom and Maureen are waiting for you.”
“We will miss you, but it’s ok.”
Pap took his last breath. Marty had one hand. I had the other.
I, however, have been blessed with FOUR great Dads in my life.
Well – really three that I call Dad… …and then a great one I call “Merv” or Marty or Sweetie – my hubby….
the best dad of all – to our amazing sons.
The reason for more than one dad in my life is probably a story for another time or another place.
But I do know that to everything there is a season, a time, a purpose, and a reason.
I started out with one dad… (I wish I had more photos, but here is one with my dad and brother and cousins and aunt and grandparents – and though I look like a G R U M P – I love this picture! Thanks Aunt Gwen!)
I gained another Dad in the middle part of my childhood who I am eternally grateful for that was by my side during the difficult pre-teen and teenage years and that walked me down “the aisle” and supported me and helped to shape who I am today…
Father-Daughter Dance – April 3, 1982
And then I was so fortunate to have my birth father re-enter my life several years ago… Who I talk to almost every day… Who has brought a whole new family into my life – who I love so much – and who all love me!
Father’s Day 2012 – Dad, Jodi, & Marty
On top of that, I was given the gift of one of the all-time-greatest father-in-laws, who I affectionately called, “Poops.” Those that knew him know why, and oh how we all loved Pap (who we lost a little over a year ago, but think about everyday). He loved me like his very own, and I know I am also who I am today because of him.
Pap’s Last Father’s Day – 2012 – with Nick, Jake and Marty
So as I think about all the wonderful dads in my life, I know that I AM THE LUCKIEST!
And I want to share with you one of my all-time favorite songs (that I first heard at the wedding of a couple of cuties that I love DEARLY and am forever grateful to – and they know why! Nikole and Michael) and for My Merv – a Great Husband AND Father.
the creative life in between 