Do NOT Read (Seriously!) – Worst Blog Post Ever!

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#Writing101 – Unlock the Mind

Assignment #1:  To get started, let’s loosen up. Let’s unlock the mind. Today, take twenty minutes to free write. And don’t think about what you’ll write. Just write.

Keep typing (or scribbling, if you prefer to handwrite for this exercise) until your twenty minutes are up. It doesn’t matter if what you write is incomplete, or nonsense, or not worthy of the “Publish” button.

And for your first twist? Publish this stream-of-consciousness post on your blog.

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What is on my mind? What is my stream-of consciousness? Am I brave enough to just free type for 20 minutes and publish what comes of it?

Today is the first day of #Writing101, and our first assignment is to take 20 minutes to free type.

The “twist” is to publish it.

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Feel free to stop right now and read no further – truly – it’s not worth it!!

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Immediate writer’s block.

Paralysis.

I think I worry too much about what I will say….. Who it will affect… Will I say something that will upset someone if I say all the things that are going on in this crazy head of mine?

Mostly what I feel is love and gratitude.  Today was an absolutely gorgeous day!  (photo above)

But when prompted to share my stream of consciousness – YIKES!

All kinds of crazy things go through my head!

Who wants to hear that?

I don’t want to be like “poor me – let me tell you my woes – my heartbreaks – my betrayals – my losses – those that have lied to me……”

That is the stuff I keep tucked in the very back of my mind, because what I prefer to focus on is the good. The beautiful family that I have. A faithful, supportive husband of 32 years, two wonderful young men that are my sons, a beautiful daughter-in-law, friends that are like family to me, extended family that has come into my life late. But then there are some people I have lost – that are no longer in my life – for various reasons – in the back of my conscious – which I will not write about – will not share. It’s not the right thing to do.

So I push it back.

Why does that come into my “consciousness” for this exercise!!!????!!!

Focus on good. Focus on blessings. Focus on love. Focus on goodness.

I’ve always thought I wanted to write a book.

Probably all bloggers have that in the back of their mind.

I wonder if I could ever be disciplined enough to do it??

I wonder if I could ever feel “free” enough to truly express my thoughts and feelings??

I think of Jeannette Walls and The Glass Castle.

I think of Lenore Skomal and The Bluff.

Her words run through my mind so often.

“Write what is in your head, in your heart. Don’t worry about what others think. Your thoughts and your feelings are real, and they are yours. Own them. Share them. Express them.

But I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

It’s part of my DNA. I’m a “pleaser.” My greatest pleasure in life is to make others happy – to encourage others. I don’t do it at my own expense. But I do guard.

Oh boy – already I have proofread and backspaced and erased. More worried about what this sounds like than just allowing myself to “free type.”

I’m really not as crazy as this makes me sound!  🙂

Sheesh!  I hope the next assignments are not this difficult!

Wouldn’t you rather see pretty cards and yummy recipes and nice photos?

LightbulbIdea

Now – seriously – this should not be difficult – to just free type – but I worry nobody will want to read the nonsense that comes of this.   And oh brother is this sounding like N O N S E N S E !

I know!!!!!!!!  GREAT IDEA…..

I will title this blog with a disclaimer that says you will not want to read this. LOL!

I wouldn’t as a blog follower of mine!

Oh bear with me my friends, and know that this is just an assignment – and one that I am challenging myself to do. To allow myself the freeness to do.

If you got this far, I apologize!!!!!!  SORRY!

Remember – it was a challenge to just “free type,” so it is not meant to really make sense.

I will try to find a great picture to go with it and make it a little more appealing!! LOL!!

Hey – Marty and I had our Wagyu Steaks tonight. Remember those ones I got on “SALE” for $19.95 per pound!?!??!! Oh My! They were pretty delish!

Does this photo of my dinner plate help???  🙂

steak

Phew – the 20 minutes is up…….

Not sure I like this……

Cheers & Hugs,

Jodi

I call your “Bluff”

bluffWhat a wonderful weekend we had!  As it winds down this Sunday evening, I am relaxing and reflecting on it all.

It started early on Friday with a late afternoon trip to Conneaut for “THE BEST BOOK CLUB EVER.”

“Oh Rob,” as I affectionately like to refer to our gracious co-host (who happens to be our cousin and one of our BFFs,  along with his amazing wife and one of my personal heroes, Joyce) has begun a blog of his own, which I encourage you to read:  Reflections.  Rob has such an endearing and though-provoking reflective perspective on life that you just can’t help but smile to think about him.

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I  daresay… even if you don’t like to read, you might just do it to be part of this amazing group! (As Joyce and Rob can attest as they have evolved into making room in their home for 30 or more people at times.)

It is a diverse and fascinating group of women AND men of all ages, backgrounds, professions and political views that comes together every couple months to drink a little wine, nosh on yummy treats (like these amazing flat bread, goat cheese, fresh fig and balsamic vinaigrette appetizers provided by the Vacavi Café where we met this month), and talk about the book we read, share how it affected us, explain what it meant to us, and explore our diverse experiences.

fig close upThis month’s book was chosen by our friend Laurie because it was written and self-published by a somewhat local author, Lenore Skomal, who was willing to come to our BEST BOOK CLUB EVER meeting and talk to us about her book.

And WOW – I might have to say this was the BEST Book Club of the BEST BOOK CLUB EVER!

As you may have guessed since I have begun this blog and since my profession is in Corporate Communications, I have a bit of an affinity for writing.

The topic of this book was also something that hit close to home on so many levels for me.

So the opportunity to get to meet the author, and to have her be such an amazing, engaging, REAL woman, was a surprising treat.

Heck – she is the one that officially named us “THE BEST BOOK CLUB EVER,” and even rode across the lake in Ed and Laurie’s boat with us to Rob and Joyce’s place for a night cap and continued intimate discussion.

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So the book – “Bluff” by Lenore Skomal  -was born out of the author’s real-life experience with her mother’s end days’ experience of comatase in the hospital where physicians and staff spoke about her mom in her mom’s presence as if she weren’t there and couldn’t hear.  It made Lenore uncomfortable wondering how much her Mom could hear and comprehend and how it made her feel.

I was thoroughly intrigued, albeit at first taken aback, by Skomal’s representation of the book’s central character’s imprisonment in that “in-between” space teetering on death yet clinging to life in order to save the life of her unborn child – a choice made by the Catholic hospital staff where she is kept alive by medical intervention.  It was startling when I first heard Jude speak and hear what she had to say.  I will never look at or think of a person in a coma the same way and will be that much more reverent in their presence.

Bluff is quite a page-turner as each character develops and shockingly unfolds and reveals their own secrets, deceptions, and relation to the central theme.  The end will shock and startle you.  It will answer some questions, but raise that many more.  At first, it really threw me and made me think it was too much of a diversion from the original central theme, until we discussed it as a group and with the author, and I looked at the entire scope of subjects more globally – the secrets, the deceptions, the “bluffs.”  (And then to learn Part 2 is in progress where these characters continue to develop is exciting!)

Bluff was a perfect book club selection for those willing to discuss, debate, and truly delve into the most intriguing questions that plague us about the value of human life, life support, organ donation, and the ongoing debate and questions (even within the medical community) surrounding the consciousness of those in a coma.

It truly took Marty and I back to several years ago when we had the privilege of being with and loving Marty’s dear sister, Maureen, across the divide of this life to the next (or whatever we believe to be beyond this life) as we held her hands, whispered “I love you’s” and played soft soothing music.  You see, the hospice nurses caring for Maureen to told us they believed the last sense to go is that of hearing, so we made sure that with every last breath she took, Maureen heard our love.

As a “writer wannabe,” I was fascinated to speak with Lenore and learn about what it takes, the research involved in authenticating content, but most of all what drives us to want to write, how it affects us, and how it impacts those that read it.

I am grateful for the experience, recommend the book, and hope I have a new friend in Lenore Skomal.

And how ironic is it that the topic of this book is about  … Life in Between…

Cheers and Hugs,

Jodi