As If I Were Dancing Myself…

Graceful Ballerina Watercolor 11x14 Saunders Cold Press

Graceful Ballerina Watercolor 11×14 Saunders Cold Press

As If I Were Dancing Myself…

I’ve always admired the delicate gracefulness of a ballerina…
As a little girl, I dreamed of being one myself.

I had a little jewelry box with a tiny ballerina that twirled to music when I opened it.
I wanted to be able to do that and look so delicate and graceful and beautiful.

But I wasn’t delicate or graceful or beautiful.
I was chubby and a bit clumsy and loud.

I tried tap and jazz and ballet classes,
but my mind and body didn’t cooperate with the rest of the dancers.

I was heavy-footed and exuberant and impatient.
When the rest of the class moved right, I moved left.

I continued to grow into being a “big girl” with a “pretty face.”
Just what every teenage girl wants to hear – right?!

I had short, wavy mousy-brown hair – with bangs no less –
when all I wanted was long, straight hair.

I had a full round face, and when I smiled or laughed,
I completely lost my eyes, which became tiny slits (still to this day!)

I had big feet –  a sturdy foundation Grandma claimed –
not delicate ballerina feet that could point and hold me up so gracefully.

A ballerina I was and am not,
but that is finally ok with me now.  (only took 50+ years!)

If I can’t be a ballerina,
I can paint one.

And I can feel the same delicate gracefulness
as if I were dancing myself.

Cheers & Hugs,

*Painting inspiration from Pinterest (no credit identified).  Three colors used:  Daniel Smith Neutral Tint, Azo Yellow, Alizarin Crimson.

Abstract Thoughts in a Concrete World

Prussian Blue Permanent Rose Watercolor Abstract

Another shooting

this time at Inland Regional Center, a conference center in a community facility in San Bernandino, California that serves people with developmental disabilities.


Innocent lives lost to craziness and confusion and ugliness.

As I watched the non-stop coverage on the news –  trying to understand – not allowing myself to become “desensitized” to the madness,  I felt compelled to paint.

I wanted to just express my abstract thoughts and feelings in this concrete world.

Before I ever tried to paint, to watercolor, to create art,

I would look at abstract art and laugh, or dismiss, or discredit.

I thought to myself, and even said out loud, that anyone could “do THAT!”

It’s just paint splattered on paper.

But I’m drawn to abstract art now – like never before.

And I dare you to try it!

It is not as easy as it looks to the inexperienced critic.

It is actually much easier to paint and draw literally and concrete and exact.

But to paint abstract is to let the art speak your feelings, to let the paint “do it’s thing.”

So I brushed my paper with Prussian Blue and Permanent Rose and then a delicate mix of the two of them.

Then I splashed water on it all, expressing my confusion, my angst, my inability to understand our world’s inability for peace, for tolerance, for understanding, for love.

These two colors create such a beautiful tone when mixed together – like all of us.

But we can’t, won’t, don’t let it happen.

We fight it, we try to control it, we try to keep it separate, we try to make the rules, define the lines, keep it simple.

But life is not meant to be separated, defined by lines or be simple.

Life is about freedom… about being connected…

Life is complex.

But it is also loose and expressive and beautiful.

And so I created this abstract watercolor painting

that I have to admit I love,

and I am nervous to share for fear you will not – like – understand – feel – care – accept.

But I am being brave, and I am sharing.

It is my little expression of abstract thoughts in a concrete world.

Cheers & Hugs,


PS  Thanks to Deb Riley, an amazing artist I adore and follow and would love to emulate.   You have encouraged, enthused, and inspired me!

Acceptance without Exception


I started out 2014 gangbusters with the One Little Word Challenge by Ali Edwards.

I participated in the Facebook Group Page commenting and sharing and encouraging others.

I began a journal and completed TWO WHOLE PAGES…

But I didn’t keep up with the monthly assignments…

I quit participating in the group…

I just didn’t find make time…

Yet I still feel good about my “one little word,” and I still feel like I have grown a great deal this year in Acceptance.

My biggest challenge was accepting ME for who I am.

How can it take 51 years to be OK with who you are?!??

Why did it take me so long?

Why am I not completely there yet?

Whatever the case, I have come a long way, and I am proud that I am coming to “accept” who I am, where I came from, why I am the way I am….

Accepting that I will never be skinny…

Accepting that I will never be beautiful by the world’s beauty standards…

Accepting that I come from a dysfunctional family…

Accepting that I can love people, but not have relationships with them…

Accepting that I can’t be everything to everyone…

Accepting that I am ok, because I am ME.

Accepting others for who they are – no matter their beliefs, religion, race, sexual orientation, political views, personal opinions, age, gender, place in the world….

Accepting life’s circumstances…

Accepting the life I am given, and making the best of it every single day.

On this Thanksgiving Eve Eve, I am so thankful for a wonderful year full of acceptance….

Acceptance that I have received…

Acceptance I have given…

Acceptance without Exception.  That is what it is all about.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cheers & Hugs,


PS  Have you ever participated in the One Little Word Challenge?  Do you have a life motto?  A Word of the Day, Month, Year?  It’s a great way to make a little difference.  I would love to hear about yours.