brother

Kathy’s Bluebird in Watercolor

/ Jodi / 50 Comments
Kathy's Bluebird in Watercolor - 11x14 140 lb cold press

Kathy’s Bluebird in Watercolor – 11×14 140 lb cold press

Kathy’s Bluebird in Watercolor.

I finally remembered to post a bird painting on the right day for Draw a Bird Day which a gang of friendly, artistic bloggers celebrates of the 8th of every month (when we remember!).

Kathy, who blogs at Backyard Bird Nerd, always supplies us with plenty of great inspiration with her bird photography.  She recently captured a photo of an Eastern Bluebird that caught my eye and inspired this very loose interpretation.  I used her bird as a model, but had fun splashing it up in the loose style I love to do.  I took some artistic license in changing the piece of wood to a twig, adding the tail feathers that were hidden in her photo, making it a bit more of a summery, green scene instead of winter, and having some fun with color.  Awww – the beauty and freedom of art!

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi

This bluebird painting is dedicated to the memory of my brother, Johnny, whose birthday would have been today.  RIP John P. Towle – February 8, 1964 – December 27, 2016.  You remain in my heart always.

This painting (original, prints, and cards) is available at McKinneyX2Designs as well as Berry Vine Gifts.

Daniel Smith watercolors used:  Cerulean Blue, Indigo, New Gamboge, Cadmium Orange, Olive Green, Perylene Green, Alizarin Crimson, Burnt Umber.

10 Months Ago Today…

/ Jodi / 88 Comments

10 Months Ago Today.

I crossed the railroad tracks today,
like I do so many days.

And I realized, after the fact,
that for the first time in 10 months

I didn’t get a lump in my throat…
I didn’t hold my breath…

I didn’t think of you
and the decision you made

10 months ago today.

It caught me off guard…
Made me both happy and sad.

Only 10 months ago
you were still here…

barely hanging on…
but still there was hope.

10 months later
there is no more hope

and the memory is beginning
to fade.

I want to be happy,
yet that makes me sad.

10 months ago today
you took your life away.

Rest in peace dear brother.
Rest in peace.

Love,
Jodi

Why?

/ Jodi / 84 Comments

sunny-sky-february-19-2017-mars-pa

Why do I feel the most sad
when it is the brightest most beautiful day?
Some time has passed and life goes on,
but why does my heart not feel better?

Why does the sound that I used to love
of the trains blowing their horns in the distance and echoing through the hills
haunt me so much
that I sometimes want to scream “Shut Up!”

Why do the melodious wind chimes
that sing in the breeze
make me so sad and sometimes mad
that I had to put them away for a while.

Why did you have to take your life
on the day we used to celebrate
the life of another so dear to us
whose life was also ended too soon?

Why – on a most beautiful day in February – the month of your birth,
when it should be cold and snowy and blustery,
did I sit in the sunshine… in bare feet… and short sleeves…
and mourn this beautiful gift you were missing that I know you would have loved?

Why did we often let long periods of time pass
when we didn’t see each other or talk
when I knew you were there and that you loved me,
and I know you knew I loved you too?

But now you are gone,
and now I think of you every day,
and I miss you every day…
and I wish things could be different.

With love always from your sister,
Jodi

Friends – I usually try to keep my blog upbeat and encouraging, but I really felt the need to share that even in the best of days and times and all the blessings in life, there are still times of grief and sadness.  We can’t ignore it.  Grief is something we all must face when we love.  When we love someone and lose them, it hurts deeply.  But it is still worth it to love and bear the hurt, for what would life be like without the love?  To grieve means you have loved.  And to love and lose is far greater than to have never loved at all.

I also want to thank a dear friend, who somehow always seems to know the right time and right thing to say.   This dear friend – out of the blue and from far away – sent me a text telling me he was thinking of me and my brother when he heard a song, and he thought I should listen to it as it could be my brother’s parting song.  If you care to listen, this is the song he recommended to me: “Go Rest High On That Mountain“

You could have

/ Jodi / 92 Comments
johnny

JPT 2/8/64 – 12/27/16

You could have
been 53 years old today.

You could have
been anything you wanted to be.

You could have
been a father, husband, brother, uncle, son, friend.

You could have
watched that train go by.

You could have
fought it.

You could have
lived and loved and been loved.

But you had other plans.
You gave up.

You chose not to be
53 or anything you wanted to be.

You chose not to be
a father, husband, brother, uncle, son, friend.

You chose not to
watch the train go by.

You chose not to
fight or live or love or be loved.

I hope with all of my heart
and every fiber of my being

that your plan
brought you peace.

In loving memory on your birthday and every day,
Your sister,
Jodi

I Choose to Remember

/ Jodi / 88 Comments

foggy-snowy-view-cranberry-township-pa-december-2016

I choose to remember
your tender heart,
your innocent smile,
the carefree days of childhood.

I choose to remember
the boy you were
before life stole your goodness…
before difficult circumstances hardened your heart.

I choose to remember
there was a good soul within
the shell the disease stole
and lied to and hid.

I choose to remember
you tried to care,
even though you struggled
to show it.

I’ll try to forget
the things that hurt both our hearts
that you couldn’t recover from
and found other ways.

I’ll try to forget
the things we were told
that broke our spirits
and shattered our souls.

I’ll try to honor
the boy you once were,
the man you tried to be,
the goodness down deep.

I hope your pain is gone,
your soul is free,
your demons slayed,
and that peace is attained.

 

(written the night I learned my brother died this week)

Perspective

/ Jodi / 11 Comments

Moon Lake Thoreau What You See

Today is my brother’s birthday, and this is the card I made and sent to him.  He is a purist and likes simple and uncomplicated things.  He is also a deep thinker, so though this card may not be a “stunner” in the creative artistic sense, I think it is perfect for him.

The StampinUp Moon Lake stamp is stamped onto white paper.  I then overlaid it with vellum that I stamped the sentiment on and stitched it to the white (so you can lift it to see the boat and tree clearer – kinda symbolic of the message if you get my drift).  I added a few clear star stickers to embellish just a bit, framed it up with black and then blue card stock and adhered to a white card base.

I’m thinking of my brother today and wishing him a year full of simple, uncomplicated pleasures and happiness.  I love him dearly.

What do you see today?

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi