Why do I feel the most sad
when it is the brightest most beautiful day?
Some time has passed and life goes on,
but why does my heart not feel better?
Why does the sound that I used to love
of the trains blowing their horns in the distance and echoing through the hills
haunt me so much
that I sometimes want to scream “Shut Up!”
Why do the melodious wind chimes
that sing in the breeze
make me so sad and sometimes mad
that I had to put them away for a while.
Why did you have to take your life
on the day we used to celebrate
the life of another so dear to us
whose life was also ended too soon?
Why – on a most beautiful day in February – the month of your birth,
when it should be cold and snowy and blustery,
did I sit in the sunshine… in bare feet… and short sleeves…
and mourn this beautiful gift you were missing that I know you would have loved?
Why did we often let long periods of time pass
when we didn’t see each other or talk
when I knew you were there and that you loved me,
and I know you knew I loved you too?
But now you are gone,
and now I think of you every day,
and I miss you every day…
and I wish things could be different.
With love always from your sister,
Friends – I usually try to keep my blog upbeat and encouraging, but I really felt the need to share that even in the best of days and times and all the blessings in life, there are still times of grief and sadness. We can’t ignore it. Grief is something we all must face when we love. When we love someone and lose them, it hurts deeply. But it is still worth it to love and bear the hurt, for what would life be like without the love? To grieve means you have loved. And to love and lose is far greater than to have never loved at all.
I also want to thank a dear friend, who somehow always seems to know the right time and right thing to say. This dear friend – out of the blue and from far away – sent me a text telling me he was thinking of me and my brother when he heard a song, and he thought I should listen to it as it could be my brother’s parting song. If you care to listen, this is the song he recommended to me: “Go Rest High On That Mountain“