I Choose to Remember

foggy-snowy-view-cranberry-township-pa-december-2016

I choose to remember
your tender heart,
your innocent smile,
the carefree days of childhood.

I choose to remember
the boy you were
before life stole your goodness…
before difficult circumstances hardened your heart.

I choose to remember
there was a good soul within
the shell the disease stole
and lied to and hid.

I choose to remember
you tried to care,
even though you struggled
to show it.

I’ll try to forget
the things that hurt both our hearts
that you couldn’t recover from
and found other ways.

I’ll try to forget
the things we were told
that broke our spirits
and shattered our souls.

I’ll try to honor
the boy you once were,
the man you tried to be,
the goodness down deep.

I hope your pain is gone,
your soul is free,
your demons slayed,
and that peace is attained.

 

(written the night I learned my brother died this week)

A Morning Mourning Dove

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Mourning Dove – Mars, PA 1/12/16

In the silence of early morning
just before the  break of dawn,

You are puffed up soft and fluffy,
perched and clinging high atop the tree.

What a bright, warm sight you are
amidst the dark and snowy shadows.

But your haunting lament belies
your soft, yet vibrant allure.

Oh morning Mourning Dove
what conflicting emotions you evoke…

darkness and light,
joy and grief,
morning and mourning.

 

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi

His Love Will Live in our Hearts Forever

first mate

In my job as a Director of  Corporate Communications for Hospice and Home Health, I know all the right things to write… to say… to do… when explaining the journey at end of life and the experience of loss and grieving.

But when it is your own grief, it is quite different.

Yesterday, which was a day that filled my heart to overflowing with all of your kind words and comments and love on my One-Year Blogiversary, we also experienced a great deal of grief.  We lost our best friend, our furry son, our first mate, our floor cleaner-upper, our company greeter, our deer chaser, our lap warmer, our walk companion, our dinner moocher, our tomato caper culprit, my first watercolor portrait inspiration, my sweet guest blogger….

Mikey – you have forever changed our lives.  Your spirit will live within us always.

You taught us unconditional love and exuberance over the little things.  You brought us humor and warmth and showed us the joy in a simple walk or a brief ride.

Your eyes had been telling me for a little while now, but I didn’t want to admit that though your heart and mind were strong, your body was ravaged by that ugly “C” word and causing you more pain than you deserved to endure.

From the moment your eyes locked with your Dad’s at the animal shelter that rescued you from being destroyed well before your job on this earth was done, to the day your eyes pleaded for relief, you were loved and you gave more than you received.

We are a better family, and I am a better person for having you in my life.

As your big brother Jake said, you are now in the ground giving back again.  Your beautiful cells and spirit will nourish the grounds you tromped and protected and frolicked in and create the beauty that was you.

Dad said you can now chase all the chippies and deer and squirrels you want without pain.

And brother Nick finally admits you ARE a GOOD boy… the BEST boy… the BEST Dog we were privileged to have as part of our family.  (You always knew he was just teasing you, and you simply loved him back!)

We are so sad, and we miss you so much, but we are happy for your relief.  

Thank you, my sweetness, for all that you gave us.

Rest in Peace, Sweet Mikey…

Or run like the wild wind.

Your love will live in our hearts forever.

Love,

One Lucky Momma