Hospice

A Yellow Canary Named Terry

/ Jodi / 52 Comments

A Yellow Canary Named Terry.

Today’s post is a collaboration with my friend, Gary, from Spearfruit, in honor of our beloved Terry.

Gary wrote this lovely little poem late one night and shared it with me, so I knew I had to create a Terry canary as beautiful as I could, so we could share this little story and our love for a great man named Terry.

———

There once was a yellow canary named Terry
who had a good friend named Gary.

Terry lived in a birdhouse high in a tree in the city of Tampa
close to his good friend’s camper.

Terry was so full of life with vigor and glee
as he continued to blog in his house in the tree.

Then early one day, Terry became very sick
and from that point forward his health went down quick.

No matter the pain, no matter the grief
Terry always felt better and a little relief

when he blogged to his friends who provided him love
no matter his struggles or thoughts from above.

Then one day when Terry was perched in his tree,
he got a sweet gift from his good friend Jodi.

The gift was a yellow flower that was painted with love
to remind Terry that things are much better above.

From that point forward Terry raised his head high
and did his very best to hold back his cry.

Terry knew it would soon be time to let out his last chirp
so he got himself ready to depart this dear earth.

Although Terry is no longer here perched in his tree
his friends all know that his spirit is with me

always…
Love his best friend, Gary.

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi

—–

If you would like a 5×7 or 8×10 print of this painting or a box of greeting cards, you can order at McKinneyX2Designs on ETSY by clicking here or by stopping by Berry Vine Gifts in BradfordWoods, PA.

This Past Week

/ Jodi / 59 Comments

This past week I received a surprise bouquet of flowers
from a generous friend named Gary
who grows the most beautiful dahlias.

This past week I also learned I lost a dear blogging friend
whose name was Terry from his beautiful husband named Gary
after I spoke to him just the day before sharing my love and admiration.

This past week I worked and I played and I laughed and I cried
in determination and freedom and joy and in sorrow
for family and friends both cherished in my life and those I have lost.

Tomorrow is Labor Day in the United States.
A day set aside to honor the American labor movement and the contributions
workers have made towards the strength, prosperity, laws and well-being of our country.

I think about Gary laboring over the beautiful flowers he planted.
I think about Terry laboring to breathe when I spoke to him the day before he died.
I think about Gary laboring to get through the days following the death of his love.

I think about those who labor to provide comforting care to hospice patients.
I think about those who labor in hospitals and emergency rooms and trauma centers.
I think about those who labor to protect our country’s freedom.

I am grateful for a weekend of respite
and the opportunity to work
this past week.

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi

 

 

A Yellow Flower for Terry

/ Jodi / 66 Comments
Terry's Yellow Flower of Friendship Watercolor 7 1/4 x 8 1/2 Artistico 140lb Cold Press

Terry’s Yellow Flower of Friendship Watercolor 7 1/4 x 8 1/2 Artistico 140lb Cold Press

A Yellow Flower for Terry.

I have a friend named Terry.
His favorite color is yellow.
His husband’s name is Gary,
and they have a dog named Roxy.

Terry is a father,
a son,
a brother,
and a husband.

Terry is a handsome man in the fifth decade of life.
About a year ago, Terry and Gary sold their home in Texas,
bought a travel trailer and had plans to travel the country,
including a visit to Mars, PA, where I live.

About a year prior to that,
Terry began having some pain and health issues.
He knew something was very wrong.
Terry discovered he had cancer.

For the past two years,
Terry has sadly become increasing more ill.
The cancer is taking over his body.
But it has not, cannot, and will not kill his beautiful, loving spirit.

One of the many joys of blogging
is the community of other bloggers
and some very special friendships that are formed,
like the one that I have formed with Terry.

I’ll never forget the special way Terry made me feel one time in particular.
About a year ago and about a year into my new adventure in watercolor painting,
I painted and shared a not-so-great watercolor painting of a red boat.
Terry, in all his sweetness, told me it was “priceless” and he “would pay millions for it.”

So overcome with his kindness,
I offered it to him as a gift.
I sent it to him,
and he posted this beautiful way of thanking me:  It’s a Jodi

Terry and Gary never did get to do the traveling they had planned.
They now reside in Florida, living in their travel trailer,
but Terry has spent more days than anyone would wish
at doctor’s appointments, chemo and radiation treatments, and the hospital.

My sweet friend Terry
is now on hospice care.
He has made the choice to live out his final journey
at home with those he loves in peace and comfort and love.

After seeing Terry’s post yesterday
and thinking of him so much,
I decided to paint a yellow flower of friendship
for a beautiful friend.

Dear Terry,
please know how much you are loved,
what an impact you have made on so many,
and how I will always remember you when I see yellow flowers.

Hugs,
Jodi

P.S.  If you would like to visit Terry’s blog, please click on any of the hyperlinks provided throughout this post.  I know it would mean so much to him and Gary if you would post a little note to him.  If you do, please tell him how much Jodi loves him!

Watercolor:  Winsor & Newton New Gamboge, Daniel Smith Olive Green, Perylene Green, Perylene Violet.

Even if no one bothers to look…

/ Jodi / 63 Comments
Sunrise on Forsythe - Mars, PA 5/8/17

Sunrise on Forsythe – Mars, PA – 5/8/17

Even if no one bothers to look…

The sunrise, of course, doesn’t care if we watch it or not.
It will keep on being beautiful,
even if no one bothers to look at it.

Gene Amole

Yesterday morning I was on the road very early
and couldn’t resist driving down one of my favorite roads in our little community.

It was a cold, but sunny morning
with a nip in the air and frost on the grass.

As the warmth of the sun shone,
the steam and fog rose from the ice crystal-kissed earth and cold creeks and ponds.

I drove home slowly on my way back from my early morning run,
sipping my steaming coffee, but drinking in the beginning of a new day.

I wish I took time to notice it more often….
It’s there – just waiting for me to enjoy its beauty.

And with or without me –
that sunrise just keeps on being beautiful!

It made me think a bit too…
About being beautiful.

No – not Hollywood beauty…
not Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition beauty.

But about being a beautiful person –
in my heart and in my thoughts and in my character and in my actions.

And I want to make an effort to be a beautiful person…
even if no one bothers to look.

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi

Gene Amole also wrote a book I just bought on Amazon called “The Last Chapter.”  I look forward to reading it and will share my thoughts.

Life and Hope

/ Jodi / 64 Comments

Lane

My son snagged this amazing shot with his iPhone down the lane to our home one evening this week when the clouds were rolling in.

I love the beauty of the lush green “life,” the bright blue sky of “hope,” and the looming “sadness’ in the darkness under the puffy white clouds.

It reminded me of a dear friend who has been on my mind constantly lately who is going through a difficult period while she tends to her parents’ needs at her father’s journey at end of life.

It made me think of life and hope and sadness and how we all deal with all of it every day – –  often every moment of the day.

The lyrics of one of my all-time favorite songs came to mind, and I want to share them here for my sweet friend, Bub:

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep you head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you’ll hear me knocking at you door
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again

 

May we all find cherished moments of life and hope in times of darkness and sadness.
And may we all find comfort in friendship to get us through.

We may not be close enough in geographic proximity to literally always show up and knock on the door, but we can reach out in so many other ways to be there for each other.

Be life and hope in someone’s darkness today.

Cheers & Hugs,
Jodi

If we were having coffee…

/ Jodi / 66 Comments


image

If we were having coffee, I’d be drinking mine (Starbucks Breakfast Blend or Veranda with Italian Sweet Cream) from this “Warm and Cozy” mug.

You see – I just received it as a special “just because” surprise gift from my daughter-in-law this past weekend.  I came home from a day out to find this in our mailbox.

The mugimage was filled with Hot Cocoa K-cups and a little bag of mini marshmallows tied with gold and white baker’s twine.  It was in an adorablimagee chevron pencil bag and had some matching binder clips too.

A sweet note was attached to “Mom M.”

It melted my heart. So – needless to say, I would probably gush a bit about our sweet Colleen.

I would undoubtedly offer you some cookies or whatever I had baked this week to go with our coff411bSsOqlBLee.  Current batch of cookies in the house this week is Bittersweet Chocolate and Almond Chunk made from a Trader Joe’s Pound Plus Bittersweet Chocolate with Almond Candy Bar that hubby got as a gift recently (and I will be buying more of! O – M – G!)  I coarsely chopped the candy bar and stirred it into my classic chocolate chip cookie recipe and Voila!

We would either sit by a warm fire in the living room or at the kitchen table.  Charlie would be laying on the floor beside us, watching for crumbs or waiting patiently for belly rubs and chin scratches.

We might talk about the latest books we are reading.  I am reading “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons from the Crematory” by Caitlin Doughty.  It is a fascinating memoir of a twenty-something who got a job in a crematory after college.  She shares her experiences and how it actually eased her angst about death and dying and made her better able to appreciate and enjoy her own life.  I am only a few chapters in, but I am fascinated so far and somewhat perplexed by mixed reviews I’ve heard from others in our book club who are reading it.  Death is a topic I discuss daily in my full-time job in communications for a home health and hospice company, so it is not something I am as uncomfortable discussing as many.  As a matter of fact, there is a 100% guarantee death is something we are all going to face, so it is a subject worth discussion.

This might lead to us talking about hospice care and final wishes and experiences we’ve both had with losing special loved ones.  This would ultimately lead to me talking about my Grandma, Grandpap, my in-laws, my sister-in-law – all very special people I have lost, but have fond memories of to share.  We would surely laugh too, because they all brought such joy and fun to my life.

We might talk about what we did last weekend.  I would tell you what a fun time I had hiking around McConnell’s Mills with a sweet friend, about the awesome hot spiked cider we had afterwards at a local restaurant, and how we got recorded three times doing the “whip/nae nae” for a scavenger hunt while exploring a little gift shop after our hike.

royal flush spades halloween costume tshirtsI might show you the t-shirts I painted for my youngest son and his girlfriend and their friends who are going to be a “royal flush” for a Halloween party in Chicago.

I’d probably also tell you how proud I am of my oldest son, who had his first DJ gig this past weekend and how my younger son was there to help and support him.  I’d tell you it warmed my Momma’s heart to think about them that evening.

We might talk about the Pittsburgh Steelers’ win this weekend and how we did it with our third string quarterback.  We’d probably also talk about the fact that we saw our first snow flurries in Mars this past weekend.

Then we might talk about plans for the upcoming weekends.  I might brag on my cousin Nikole Brugnoli-Sheaffer, Director of Innovation, Environmental Charter School, who is being honored as one of Pittsburgh’s 40 Under 40, a program to recognize 40 people under the age of 40 who are committed to shaping our Pittsburgh region and making it a better place for everyone to live, work and play.   I can’t wait to honor her at the upcoming event.

I would probably tell you I’m feeling sad that one of my besties is leaving soon to winter in Florida with her folks who she cares for full-time and how much I am going to miss her.

But I would tell you my other bestie is going to be a first-time grandma in a few months and how excited we all are!

Mostly though, I would want to ask you how you are.  How you really are…   What is going on in your life?  Are you taking time to enjoy doing the things you love “in between?”  Are you taking time to enjoy the people you love?   Are you “cherishing the moments?”

Hubby says I’m “nebby.”  (pouty face)

I contest I am just truly and genuinely interested in people.

As much as I love to talk, I adore listening.  I treasure hearing about people and what matters to them and what makes them tick.  Everyone has a story.  And I love hearing them.

We would surely cherish our time together, and we would undoubtedly hug.  It would be a real hug, and I might likely tell you “I love you” when you leave, because if we are having coffee in my house, there’s a good chance that IS how I feel.

I think I’ll go have another cup of coffee.  Hope you are enjoying some too. pumpkin cinnamon spice cookies And maybe a cookie…  (like this one?  Pumpkin Cinnamon Spice – which I will be featuring as a recipe here tomorrow!)

Or maybe you are having tea if that’s your thing?

And if it’s after 5….  maybe a glass of wine….. or two….

Cheers & Hugs,

Jodi

Pap’s Best Day

/ Jodi / 12 Comments

pap last day

Today’s Assignment for #Writing101:  Write a post inspired by a real-world conversation. For a twist, include foreshadowing.

Something made me stay a little longer that day.  I wasn’t in my usual hurried, harried mode on my weekly visit to the nursing home.  This visit was surprisingly more enjoyable than the “chore” it sometimes had sadly become of late.

Time seemed to fly as Pap (my father-in-law) and I talked and laughed and reminisced.   Marty even called to see where I was since I was “taking so long.”  But Pap was so excited to share what a wonderful day he had and tell me about his very special visitor.  Nancy, his “favorite” niece from Illinois, had surprised him that day with a visit.  They went for a walk – him in his scooter with the orange safety flag, wearing his favorite chicken hat Colleen had bought him with his beautiful niece by his side.  He proudly introduced her to every person he knew that worked, visited or lived within scooter driving distance of his room, and he begged to have a picture taken to commemorate the day.   He could barely contain his joy and excitement telling me about the fun they had, the laughs they shared, and the joy she had brought to his day.

“It was the best day,” he said.

Pap had been sick for quite a while.  He had more than his fair share of “close encounters” throughout the 33 years I had known him (and even before that).  Yet somehow he managed to outlive his beloved wife of 52 years, and even more heartbreaking, his only daughter.

Lately, Pap was in and out of the hospital more times than we could count.   Moves between assisted living and skilled nursing were becoming the norm.  Pap was getting tired.  He said he was ready to go.  But when breathing got labored due to his CHF and other problems arose from his minimally functioning kidney, he panicked.  He just wanted to “stick around” a few months longer for the upcoming wedding of his grandson, Jake and his favorite girl, Colleen.

It was time to have “the talk.”

In life, there are a few very important “talks.”  There’s the “birds and the bees,” continuing education decisions, marriage, children, buying a home.

Then there’s the BIGGIE:  Death.

The “How do you want to spend your end-of-life journey?” talk.

Now I’m in the hospice business, so I am extremely comfortable talking about these important decisions and discussions.  Until it’s MY family…

I struggled.  Marty anguished.  We called in expert assistance.

We thought we were getting through, then Pap would talk about dialysis and kidney transplants.

We were obviously not being very effective.

And Pap kept bouncing around from hospital to skilled nursing to assisted and round and round.

This particular day I visited, he was in skilled nursing after a recent episode in the hospital.  I left feeling good.  Pap must have said it a handful of times:  “It was the best day.”

Fast forward four short hours.  The phone rang.  Pap had experienced a “turn,” and he wanted to go to the hospital.  He was struggling to breathe.

Marty asked the nursing staff to please not send him.  “Please keep him there.  Keep him comfortable.  Let him know we will be there in 15 minutes.”

When we arrived, Pap’s favorite aide was on one side of his bed, holding his hand, stroking his cheek.  Another aide stood empathetically behind her.  Still.  Silent.

Our eyes met, and theirs began to glisten.

“He’s comfortable.”  “He’s relaxed now.”

They left us to have some private time with Pap.

Marty rubbed his once larger than life, but now frail and thin Father’s arm.  He garnered all the poise and grace and dignity a 53-year old, 6 foot, 3 inch tall working man’s man could muster, and whispered, “I love you, Dad.”

“You have been a wonderful father, a devoted husband, a loving grandfather,” he said.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s okay to let go.”

“Mom and Maureen are waiting for you.”

“We will miss you, but it’s ok.”

Pap took his last breath.  Marty had one hand.  I had the other.

“It was the best day.”